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Reflections in the mirror

Who looks in a mirror immediately after putting on their outfit for the day and judges at least one part of their body?

Most women will direct judgement at themselves well before attracting it from others in the day. The thoughts that we go through when claiming (or not) our outfits for the day are what we will walk in for the rest of the day.

For example, if I put on a dress and focus on what I don’t like about my body, then I will go around all day with that weight on my shoulders thinking, "I’ve got a big stomach," "I really don’t like my thighs in this," "I don’t like how my arms look," etc. Instead, I could emphasize what I love about the dress when I put it on. For example, "Wow, I love how it accentuates my curves. I love the way I move in this dress. Its figure-hugging shape knocks out the ‘frumpy factor’ I might feel in a more baggy option."

And this is just our internal dialogue before we leave the house. What about when we are out in the world? Are we walking around with the protection all day of "Please don’t look at my stomach" or "Don’t look at my [insert body part that you are hating on right now]"? Do we consider that others actually clock this, whether consciously or not? What are others feeling from you when you are walking around hating on your body, even in the ways that you have come to regard as ‘normal’ for you? Imagine if instead, we walked around in the confidence and celebration of our body, enjoying the way this body moves while flaunting all of its curves and beauty.

We often don’t realize how our movements impact others in their day. When you walk in the love of what you are wearing, you are reflecting to other women that it’s okay for them to wear what feels gorgeous for them too.

Have you ever gone to your cupboard and put on one outfit, then another eight just to see if the first one was right? A process that can be filled with complication and doubt. When we go through these multiple outfit changes, is it possible that we are concerned about other women’s jealousy and what might be directed at us throughout the day?

Do we go back and change for something a little more comfortable, a little less noticeable? As women, this diminishes us before we even leave the house. There is nothing wrong with wearing clothes that are comfortable and supportive. I love my active wear as much as the next girl. But if you are playing yourself down to avoid others' reactions, or simply because you don’t care about yourself, then maybe have a look in the mirror and embrace the beauty that is always there.


Simply have a basket that sits at the bottom of your wardrobe. If you have an outfit that doesn’t make you feel amazing when you put it on, then pop it straight into the basket. At the end of the month, you can choose to try it on again, or you could simply donate the whole basket without a second thought, staying absolute with knowing that when you tried it on originally, it didn’t make you feel good. The correct outfit will feel effortless, no thought process involved. This includes accessories and shoes.

Start to notice what makes you feel beautiful. For example, as a hairdresser, I started to wear clothes that weren’t black and accentuated my body shape - all of the curves. I loved how it made me feel and how I moved throughout the day. Gradually my wardrobe has reflected this.

Lastly, let's not forget about our hair. We have become lazy with our hair and outfits since COVID. Starting with this ensures that you have taken the moment to take care of yourself before leaving the house, completing getting dressed for the day.

Unlocking the beauty within, starts with loving all of you.

Finally, review your morning rhythms and take stock of how you set yourself up for the day. Consider the following points:

  • How did you wake up in the morning? Did you wake up feeling refreshed and present for the day, or did you hit snooze 10 times and wish it was Sunday?

  • Provide space for yourself before the rest of the household wakes up. Getting up a little earlier can support having a moment to yourself.

  • Were you organized before leaving the house?

  • Did you leave the self-doubt behind and walk out with the confident woman that you are?

  • Prepare yourself a nourishing snack/lunch.

  • No second-guessing that you locked the door, absolute presence in every movement.

Supporting the woman you are starts with the love, care, and attention you share with yourself every single moment of the day. Nurture yourself first, and others will feel it from you.

Making every movement not only for ourselves but a movement for all. Reflections are powerful, and we all play our part in supporting each other in this world where body image has been so corrupted through social media. By walking in our true bodies, we support each other to heal what is not us, letting the woman we are shine.



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